This Most Unbelievable Life!

Episode 59 - Ways of Being

What is your way of being in the world? And while we’re at it, what does the phrase “way of being” mean anyway? At the core of this question, it seems, is the idea that people are who they are, and that we have a limited ability to change that. Is that really true? Or is this just a story that we tell ourselves? I mean, do you really wake up each day and make a conscious decision on how you’re going to be that day, or do you not really even think about it, and just let things unfold how they do? If you’re like us, you might find that there are some ways of being that you are quite intentional about while others feel more like reactions to the experiences you face in life. Can you tell the difference, and what might it take to get to the place where you can engage in what arises responsively, rather than reactively? This, friends, is how we develop our way of being in the world!
So, join us, as we take our own ways of being in the world, explore the ways of being we see within our communities, and consider the ways that priorities, values, personality, action, and attitude might all shape how we navigate our days and experiences. There may be some steps that we need to take, some adjustments we might need to take to start on this journey, but we promise you, they are worth taking! Give it a listen; tell us what you think!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 22: 100% YES!!!
Episode 38: Coping vs. Thriving
Social Media Links
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
 

Episode 58 - Does Environmentalism Begin with Backyard Birds?

Ah, April! The trees are alive with the sound of birds! Have you noticed that, folks? Have you noticed much about the flora and fauna around you, in general, this year? We start this episode off with a chat about some homework Paul assigned his Biology students but we’re both doing ourselves. The Biology students have been tasked with going outside and getting to know the plant life in their neighborhoods. 
While students are doing it for the grade, we’re doing it because...well, it’s fun! What might we notice about our world if we get curious about what’s natural around us? For Cheri, she’s really taken - and excited - to get to know the birds that are now serenading her each morning. She enjoys listening to the distinct birdsongs that now make up her morning soundscape. And Paul’s spent enough time on his balcony sipping coffee and pondering his bird feeder that he’s gotten to know quite a bit about his local avian scene. 
One thing that the pandemic hasn’t changed is that we humans live much of our lives inside the manufactured constructs that we engineer for our comfort. We might find that we both long to be within nature and, yet may do so more readily knowing we have the comfort of climate control to escape to when necessary. We might care for the nature around us, but struggle to make consumer choices that support our world and all who live within it.  
So - what’s a human to do? We’re not sure we offer the answers today, but we hope our discussion will have you carving out some time to get to know your backyard birds. After all, all that sings is far more stimulating than the garden variety small talk!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 18 - Space
Episode 24 - Why do we Need Change?
Episode 48: Can we Prepare for Change?
Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Email
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife

Episode 57 - TMUL Live - What Else Do You Do?

Episode 56 - Questioning Certainty

Certainty? Is this really a good topic for a podcast??? Are you SURE??? If the pandemic has taught us one thing, it might just be that many of the things that we were certain of, whether they are norms, ways of being, societal structures, or ideas, might not stand up to real scrutiny when challenged. Both of us used to be very confident of many things in our own lives, right up until the moment we weren’t. Sometimes this can really open us up to new questions and new ways of being, and other times this can completely undercut and reorient the things that we thought to be true. 
Together we think through our own journey with the concept of certainty. Did you know us when we were young, bold, and full of confidence in all the things?  If so, we’re so sorry you had to experience that! Certainty is rewarded in our society, but at what cost? And with what gain? What do we lose when we just admit “I don’t know!”?  These days we’re embracing a lack of certainty, or at least coming to it with a bit more suspicion.  
What are you certain of? And what do you gain from that position? We find that there are subjects we allow ourselves to take a certain stance on because they allow us to see the world, and the people within that world, in ways that are complementary to how we want to be in the world.  What allowances of certainty do we give ourselves? Take a listen and find out!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 12 : Spring!
Episode 16: All things, known!
Episode 40: Starting Over
Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Email
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife

Episode 55 - What Keeps Us up at Night?

Hello listeners! Whether you consider yourself an insomniac, a sound sleeper, or something in between, we’ve got an episode for you!
 
What keeps you up at night? When do you realize that you’re moving from deep slumber to begrudging consciousness? How do we even know whether or not we’re awake or asleep! We’ll tell ya, we sure can tell when we’re lying in bed unable to fall asleep! Does that ever happen to you? If so, we’d love to offer you this podcast episode! 
 
Originally, the thought for this one was, as the title suggests, are the things that keep us awake at night? Is it fear, anxiety, a task left undone, or something that you did that you regret, or something that made you angry? Perhaps it’s a big philosophical question about why we’re all here and the meaning of life as we know it. However, what Paul discovered about himself is that this isn’t really the question that applies to him. For Cheri, who once struggled with insomnia this question once haunted both her days and her nights.  These days, we both find, like perhaps many others that falling asleep isn’t the problem. Rather, what is it that keeps us awake when we wake up at 2AM? And what caused that awakening to happen in the first place? For some, that might be when the mind really spins a tale, which is what originally prompted Paul to have his rule, “never believe anything that your mind tells you in the middle of the night!” For others, like Cheri, it might be a sign that the brain’s finished stewing on some idea and is ready to move to problem-solving mode!
 
Are the anxieties that seem so loud when it’s dark and quiet really so important, or is it really that it’s just dark and quiet, and the mind does what the mind does? Fertile ground for curiosity, indeed! In this episode, we explore this topic with our experiences, and, as an added bonus, we compare fizzy water preferences and discover a few interesting things that make each of us rather uncomfortable! Hopefully, this episode doesn’t keep you up at night, but if you do find yourself awake, give it a listen!
 
Thanks all!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 11: Resistance
Episode 23: Navigating Discomfort
Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Email
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife

Episode 54 - Missing the Point Retrospective - One Year Later!

How’d it begin and how’s it going? That’s a social media trend we see quite a bit these days and it’s kind of what we treat ya’ll to in this episode! Recording on the anniversary of our first podcast episode, we think back on the topics and state of mind that led to and informed that first recording. A year ago we thought about “missing the point” as it could be understood and observed based on who we were, where we were, what was going on (not a pandemic!), and decided that, for us, the point (of all this!) was really about connection and community.  Do we stand by these observations today, a full year later?  Has our thinking on “the point,” who, or what, is missing the point, and the topics of connection and community changed in a year?  
As you listen to our reflections and observations, we invite you to consider with us: why do we, so often, miss the point? What do you think the point is, anyway? For us, we notice a connection between our relationship to novelty and routine that might inform when and why we seek something outside the norm - where we start to ask: is this the point of this unbelievable life or is there something else?
Check it out here - or, if you’re a more visual person, you might enjoy the YouTube version, as this one was recorded LIVE on our Youtube channel!
Thanks for listening and we can’t wait to see what new points emerge as we go into YEAR TWO!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 1: A Conversation about Missing the Point
Episode 3: The Origin Story
Episode 21: Who Makes These Rules Anyway?
Origin Story
 
Social Media Links
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife

Episode 53 - What Absolute Truths are Negotiable?

Hello listeners, and welcome to another episode of This Most Unbelievable Life, the podcast where we talk about our universe as we navigate it, ourselves, our approach, and our place in it as people trying to be the best we can be, doing the best we can! One of the things that we have both noticed for a while is that some of these ideas, notions, or conventions that we sometimes don't even question... are actually very questionable. 
Want some examples? 
Are you already working for the weekend? Well, what so bad about the actual week anyway that we're rushing to get through it? 
Were you just bemoaning that Mondays are the worst?  And is there a way to make Monday more acceptable? 
Do you repeat: “life is hard” to emphasize what a chore it is to live our lives?  Have you asked: is it really? Is that how you would characterize your life, as a chore? What other choice do you have? 
Operating in a way that questions some of these widely stated, if not widely accepted ways of being, is somewhat countercultural. If our ideas about Monday and the weekend are culturally constructed, then resisting them leans against the momentum of the social norm, right?
How does one arrive at a countercultural position, especially when, so often, we might not even know that what we think, say, or do, is rooted in a cultural agreement or convention? Do we have to go through the work of identifying every nuance of our culture to come to a new way of being that might serve us better, or can we stumble across it by accident? In this podcast, we talk this through to see if we can get some clarity on this question. What does our culture ask of us, that we don't readily notice, that might not be serving us well? Of course, then the big question... what can we do about it? 
Also, we test the cultural convention that it's not a good idea to play rock, paper, scissors on a podcast! Find out who the winner is in this episode!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 9: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Episode 21: Who Makes These Rules Anyway?
Episode 31: Why Are You Like This?
Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Email
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife

Episode 52 - Who Said I Wanted to Be A Diamond Anyway?

Well, folks, you’re in for quite a conversation today! In this one we tackle a lot of territory, but at the heart of this podcast is a conversation about how we support one another. As we know, we’re all unique, and we all have our own way of doing things. However, the way that we see others operating doesn’t always look too much like our own, and the pressure to conform can be real! How do we support others, and ourselves, when we’re trying to find our own way, our creative way, the way that works for us, individually? We note that some of the things that are “typical,” or even “expected,” during challenging times really aren’t as positive as they might seem. 
Have you told someone to “hang in there” lately?  What image does that really convey?  Or maybe you believe such truisms as “pressure makes diamonds” and “no pain, no gain” help spur others along. Do these phrases fall on the ears of those in our communities in the way we hope? Are the healthy and positive messages to receive? How do we witness the struggle of others without taking it on or minimizing it? It’s tricky work! In the end, we hope this one encourages you to come along with us as we keep contemplating the language of support!
Thank you for listening!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 10 - What If....? 
Episode 21 - Who Makes These Rules Anyway?
Episode 28 - When Discomfort Calls Us to Adjustment
 Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Email
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife

Episode 51 - Are Some "Needs" Really "Shoulds" in Disguise?

In the course of a day, or a week, or a month, or even an hour, how often do you say or think the word “need?” Sentences or phrases like, “I need to take out the trash,” or “I really need to send that email!” can come at us, into our minds, and out of our mouths out of the blue, and seemingly on their own schedule. When we think about it, though, what does the word “need” really mean? Are the things that you say that you need really as urgent as all that? Also, when you say the word “need,” what else could be said around that containing phrase that can inform us of the nature of that urgency, and to what is really going on?
In this episode, we take apart the word, “need” to see what’s really going on “under the hood,” so to speak. How do we separate true “needs” from “wants” and “wouldn’t it be nice” and just personal preferences? When we say “need,” how often do we really mean “should,” and, if so, what might be generating our impulse to phrase a “should” as a “need”?  Are “should’s” really “could’s” in disguise? Can we reframe these impulses to “should” ourselves to emphasize our choices? Are there really, underneath our “shoulds” some options to be explored?  Might we invite some inquiry into what our needs really are asking of and from us? All this and more, in this episode of This Most Unbelievable LIfe!
We hope you like this one! Please let us know what you think! We really need to know!
Thank you for listening!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
“Episode 10 - What If…” for a conversation on limiting beliefs.
“Episode 28: When Discomfort Calls us to Adjustment” where we talk about how, and when, to make adjustments to approach.
“Episode 36 - Being Enough” where we talk through how we might avoid the “cult of perfectionism.”
 Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Email
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife

Episode 50: Mid-Pandemic Interaction Report

We're coming up on a full year of living in pandemic life, which is long enough for many of us to not only develop new habits and etiquette in the ways that we interact with each other (hello, Zoom!), but also to forget many of the more nuanced, happenstance, or serendipitous interactions that we used to have prior to March 2020. All of those interactions that we once considered normal - maybe even inconsequential - with folks in the hallways or at our favorite local coffee spot, happened because we just bumped into each other as we went about our lives out in the world...and most of those are… now out the window! For many of us, the number of folks that we interacted with on the daily has become significantly fewer than the number we interacted with previously. Does this mean that we should go back and try to reach out to every single person that we used to see daily, weekly, or monthly? Well, no, but that noticing this shift provides space to consider the nature of our relationships as we have them now.
In this episode, we chew on this, as well as some of the ways in which we bring ourselves to the interactions we have now. Now, more than ever, we may be reliant on the power, and the limitations, of language and words as a primary mechanism of communication. Body language, eye contact, room or group dynamics, small-talk, ad hoc water cooler gatherings... for many, these are totally out the window! So how has your "nature of interaction" changed in the last year? Has it? 
Thank you for listening!
P + C
Related Episodes
Want to observe how our thinking on interactions in the pandemic has evolved? Listen back to our episode on the Principles of Community - Pandemic Edition - which was our 6th (!) episode!
Social Media Links
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife