Episode 21: Who Makes These Rules Anyway?

Hi folks! In this episode, Cheri and Paul take some time to talk through some of the "shoulds." We sometimes refer to this notion, using the same terms as Ram Dass once did, as "should-ing yourself." Do you "should yourself”? What is behind the "shoulds” in your life? When you say that you, or someone else, "should" do something, who makes that determination, and to what end? We approach this whole conversation in terms of what we, and others, refer to as "mental load." We look at where our expectations come from, which expectations we place on ourselves, and which ones we accept or inherit from others. We also examine the possibility that some of these people who place expectations upon us are, to quote Cheri, "the invisible army of folks with expectations." How do you have a negotiation with someone who doesn't exist, but who is somehow telling you what you "should" do, and how you "should" be? We bring these questions to bear on what is, for many folks, the scourge of our professional lives. What is the greatest professional time-suck there is??? For many people, it's the dreaded email inbox! When is the last time that you had ZERO emails in your inbox? Is that even a goal that you aspire to, and what are the rules and/or guidelines that you use when relating to your email inbox? Would you say your relationship to your inbox is healthy, strained, necessary, or something more helpless feeling, like resigned?

 

We'd love to hear from you about your "shoulds," your relationship to them, who is actually doing the "should-ing," and what your life would be like if you did all the things that your "should"-self wants! Thank you for listening! Please let us know what you think.